4 Tips for a Successful Transition Back to Work from Maternity Leave…Yes, Even During COVID. Post by Lori Mihalich-Levin.
Heading back to work after having a baby and taking parental leave is stressful, even in the best of times. Add a global pandemic to the mix, and that back-to-work transition process is easily 10x more challenging.
If you’re returning to work remotely, setting boundaries with baby in the house (when your whole body tells you to run to your baby when you hear crying!) can be a challenge.
There may not be enough work to fill your day, depending on how your employer is doing financially. Or you may have so much work that you’re overwhelmed. Childcare is so much harder to come by these days. And all of the health and safety-related risk assessments we’re performing for ourselves and our children on a daily basis is exhausting.
What’s A New Parent To Do In This Chaotic Environment?
First, take a deep breath and repeat after me: “returning to work is a process, not an event.” You’re not meant to figure it out in one day or even in one week.
When I went back to work after both of my babies, becoming a working mom was a huge personal and professional identity transition for me. I had always been “Lori, the professional.” Now, I was Mom, too. Expect an adjustment period. For me, I think I felt more like “myself” and had really gotten into the swing of things after about a year of parenthood.
So take it slowly, be patient with yourself, and focus on these four themes:
Mindfulness: Incorporate Intentional Pauses Into Your Day
Rushing from one thing to the next without pausing can make the workday seem eternal and parenthood feel nonstop. When you sit down to work, don’t just dive right into your e-mails. Instead, consider a starting work transition ritual for yourself.
For me, in the morning when I’m working from home, I intentionally make my bed and raise the blinds, pausing to take in the natural light for a minute. When I was commuting to work, I used to stop at a park bench or hotel lobby near my office to breathe for 5 minutes (alone!). Pause and take some deep, centering breaths between phone calls. Take a few minutes to breathe or do a short meditation using InsightTimer before you head back to be with your baby to put some space between work and home.
Logistics: Develop Clear Schedules And Boundaries With Your Partner And/Or Other Caregivers
Clear communication is so important in making both a daily schedule and a division of household responsibilities (and mental labor) go well. Upon your return, it will likely be important to divvy up responsibilities with your partner or another caregiver in a new way, which can lead to some intense – and important conversations.
Here’s a script for having those critical discussions if you need a hand in that department.
Be clear with partners and caregivers about when it’s okay to interrupt your work versus when you need to work in an uninterrupted manner. Also, consider establishing transition rituals with your baby and any other children. Can you kiss baby on the head and say goodbye when you head to your office? For older kids, a transition sequence like “hug, kiss, push” has worked for us, even to separate when working from home.
Leadership: Remind Yourself Of The Skills You’re Gaining
…through working parenthood that are helpful to your career.
Take a moment to think of the leaders you really admire in this world. What qualities do you appreciate in them? What do you think makes them successful? Now take a moment to think about the skills that you’re gaining by being a parent. I’m guessing you’re seeing a bit of overlap, no?
For me, some of the skills I know I gained by being a working parent include prioritizing like nobody’s business and being able to meet the needs of demanding clients who can’t express themselves particularly well. Remember that you’re gaining these skills and that your talents and abilities did not go out the window, simply because you became a parent.
Community: Find Your Working Parent Community And Stick Together
Perhaps the biggest mistake I made in my own return to work was thinking I could simple figure everything out myself. I over-emphasized self-reliance as a value and under-estimated the importance of community. I don’t recommend this as a strategy.
To combat the isolation that’s so prevalent in new parenthood, be sure to take proactive steps to find supportive communities, both in-person and online. Set up a lunch or coffee (or virtual coffee date if you’re returning remotely) with another working parent on your team on your first day back at work. Join a session of Mindful Return to meet other new working mamas. Join Facebook groups for working moms to share advice and commiserate.
You will make it through this transition, mama, and you’ll come out stronger on the other end. Sure, there will be days when you feel the stereotypical guilt that comes with wanting to be in two places at once. And you’ll also feel the pride of finding your own way, both with your family and your career.
Bio
Lori Mihalich-Levin, JD, is an advocate for working parents and the founder of Mindful Return, a program that helps new parents return to work after parental leave. She is also a health care partner at a global law firm, the author of the book Back to Work After Baby: How to Plan and Navigate a Mindful Return from Maternity Leave, co-host of the Parents at Work Podcast, and mama to two boys, ages 7 and 9.
Her thought leadership has been featured in publications including Forbes, The Washington Post, New York Times Parenting, Thrive Global, and The Huffington Post.
