Post by Dr. Jessica E. Metcalfe. You’re about to give a presentation, start a meeting or a new job when your heart starts racing, you sweat, have a creeping sense of dread and you think, “this MUST be perfect, otherwise, they are going to figure out I’m a fraud.”
Do you think your accomplishments and success are because of luck, chance, connection or appearance? Do you feel that others are smart or work harder than you? Are you afraid of making a mistake?
You’re not alone in thinking this. I have questioned myself as well.
I, too, have felt like ‘an impostor’ in my own life.
The Impostor Phenomenon
The definition of The Impostor Phenomenon is when you don’t believe that your successes and accomplishments are due to your OWN skills and efforts. Regardless, you’re a high-achieving woman. Then, why don’t you believe it?
Throughout life, in order to be successful, you have created a negative internal voice that contests each step towards reaching your goal. This is known as cognitive dissonance. It is when you experience discomfort or anxiety because your thoughts, beliefs, attitudes or behaviour are in direct conflict with each other.
For example, women are told to be confident and bold and yet, too much then you’re considered abrasive and bossy. Consequently, the expectations you set for yourself are in direct conflict with how you go about measuring your progression.
It’s time to change that way of thinking.
Alternative Thought Pattern Strategy
Here are some tips:
- Be specific with your thought. Do not create a blanket statement. Blanket statements are overwhelming and can be unproductive.
- Change the format of the thought from negative to neutral. Being in a negative thought creates a fixed mindset limiting your thought pattern to grow.
- Ask yourself, would you say this to a friend? If your first reaction were to cringe, then you wouldn’t say it to a friend. Why do you think it’s okay to say this to yourself? If you need to, reformat your thought again.
- Keep doing this until you move away from the negative thought to the neutral alternative thought.
Career And The Impostor Phenomenon
Because you are a high-achiever, you are successful. End of story.
You are hard working, ambitious, and goal-oriented. You were likely recognized as a top performer who has awards, certificates, degrees (more than one) and wear numerous different hats.
Maybe you’ve noticed that these impostor thoughts started from a younger age however you couldn’t quite put your finger on where or why these thoughts were happening.
The Impostor Phenomenon becomes more prevalent among women during transitional periods (from graduation to ‘real-life’ work) and new challenges (starting a business or a family).
Burnout
High-achieving females throughout their careers show a greater level of impostor thoughts in comparison to their male counterparts. Furthermore, there are significant associations that indicate The Impostor Phenomenon is the strongest predictor of general psychological distress ultimately leading to burnout.
What does this mean? You can prevent burnout. By changing your thoughts, you can change your feelings (stress and anxiety). You don’t have to feel like an impostor (easier said than done, I know).
To start, you need to figure out what impostor type you are so that you can narrow down and create a better framework to shift your mindset.
Impostor Types As Described By Dr. Valerie Young
The Perfectionist is someone who focuses on “how” something gets done. It has to be “perfect” otherwise it’s a failure. The perfectionist doesn’t celebrate the 99/100 but ruminates over the 1/100 thinking they failed. This individual will give up because of fear of making a mistake.
The Natural Genius is someone who focuses on the “how” and “when” something is accomplished. The new task or challenge must come with ease and speed. If not, this individual considers it a failure and avoids taking risks.
The Soloist is someone who focuses on the “who” completes the achievement. The Soloist will not ask for help because they consider it a weakness and will struggle alone.
The Expert is someone who focuses on “what” and “how much” you know or can do. The Expert thinks they need to know absolutely everything before they even have learned it.
The Super is The Perfectionist but on overdrive. This is someone who focuses on “how many” roles you can excel in. This means instead of just relating this to your career, you set unrealistic expectations in every aspect of life.
Why Do You Need To Know This?
Why is it important to know which impostor type you are? Because it gives you awareness to then help you alter your thought pattern.
For example, if you recognize yourself as The Soloist, ask yourself “What happens when I ask for help?” You may initially think, “They are going to know I don’t know anything,” which can illicit feelings of failure and shame.
You’re probably feeling stressed saying this. Your shoulders are high and tightened, your breath is shallow, and your heart is starting to race a bit.
But, what if you answered the question; “If I ask for help, I will get a second opinion, gain someone else’s knowledge, look at it from a different viewpoint, and not be alone in doing this, and that I can’t be the only one questioning this.”
It seems simple by changing the thought pattern from a negative to a neutral one but in actuality it can be hard because you embedded and normalized these negative thoughts.
Negative Self-Talk
Why is it that we create a voice in our head that is so negative for ourselves, but we know we would never want that voice for our mother, sister, daughter, or friend?
Now, I know what you are thinking. How do I change MY impostor self-talk? By starting with an exercise I use called the “thought ladder.”
The rules are simple. Your initial thought or rung on the ladder is your negative thought. Pick one. You can do this exercise many times, but start with ONE thought.
Then create or write down the ultimate thought you want to have. This is the top rung of your ladder. You won’t believe it right now, but that’s okay.
Now, go back to the initial thought or bottom rung and start to climb. Your next thought will be something that is absolutely, 100%, neutral. I will help you with your first rung. This is “I have an education.” Ta da, I know you believe it because the external evidence is there. You aren’t lying that you went to school.
Start to climb up to the next rung. It’s your turn to create a neutral thought. Make sure you believe it. You will know you believe it when it makes you feel just a little bit better than the initial thought.
I recommend creating 3 to 4 rungs on your ladder to get to your ultimate thought. When you get there, you’re not done.
Consistency And Persistence
Changing thought patterns takes consistency and persistence. You already know you have both of these qualities because you’re a high-achiever (we’ve established this already).
You need to review the ladder you made today or create a new one EVERY day. I recommend starting with saying the same thought ladder every day for the first week. Repetition is key.
Just as if you want compliance with your patient about brushing their teeth, then you need to ‘brush’ your brain. You wouldn’t go to sleep without brushing your teeth, and you wouldn’t leave your house in the morning without brushing your teeth. Then, why is it okay to continually self-criticize and doubt you? It’s not.
Daily thought work and practice improves your impostor thoughts.
Take the action and practice daily thought ladders. I believe in you and you should too!
Bio
Dr. Jessica E. Metcalfe is a dentist at a cancer centre and and an international speaker. She started to notice that even though people would tell her she is ambitious, driven and successful, she always felt like a fraud or had the fear of being found out. Upon exploration, Dr. Metcalfe recognized that these are common thoughts associated with The Impostor Phenomenon or more commonly known as, The Imposter Syndrome.
Today, Dr. Metcalfe works with women to tackle the impostor thoughts so they too can embrace their high-achieving energy, recognize their accomplishments and address thoughts of being an impostor. She offers 1-on-1 coaching and webinars/workshops to help women create new habits and alter the impostor mind.
References
Clance, P. and Imes, S. (1978). The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention. Psychotherapy: Theory, research and Practice. 15, 3: 241-247
Oriel, K., Plane M.B., Mundt, M. (2004). Family medicine residents and the impostor phenomenon. Family Medicine. 2004; 36(4): 248–52
Villwock, J. Sobin, L., Koester, L., Harris, T. (2016). Impostor syndrome and burnout among American medical students: a pilot study. International Journal of Medical Education. 2016; 7: 364-369
Hibberd, J. (2019) The Impostor Cure. Great Britain. Publishing Group Ltd.
Young, V. (2011). The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women. United States. Crown Publishing.
Loewentheil, K. (2019). Thought Ladder Explanation. Blog. https://unf*ckyourbrain.com/thought-ladder-2/
