Post by Faye Cox – Mindset & Confidence Coach.
Self-confidence is not something that holds me back anymore, in fact I really appreciate the level of confidence I now enjoy and feel that I can make the choices and decisions I want without a feeling of concern or over riding fear. That is not to say that I am always successful, but I now realise that even by trying I am moving closer to a higher level of confidence.
I didn’t always have a high level of self-confidence. When I was younger, I was shy, I hung off my mum and was one of those children that didn’t get involved in the party until it was nearly time to leave. I was bullied at school for being short, having big ears and short hair!
The Perfect Child
My confidence in my ability to deal with life’s challenges was pretty low. This was probably caused by a fear of not measuring up to my parent’s expectations of ‘the perfect child’. We were always being told that children should be seen and not heard, not to show off, sit quietly etc. which didn’t help when it came to my social shyness either. However, as I got older, I realised that my parents only wanted me to try my best at everything I did and that they too had struggled with confidence as a result of their upbringings too.
I went to work in the media industry at the age of 21, where I had a lot of social interaction with people from all walks of life and I lost most of my shyness. My job also required me to stand up in meetings and present to clients and the more success I had, the more my self-confidence grew.
Confidence Is A Learned Behaviour
Self-confidence means that you know that you can do whatever task you are faced with. This doesn’t mean that you have to do every task by yourself. It means that the ones you know you can do by yourself, you do, and the ones where you need help you know how to find it.
Confidence is a learned behaviour, not something you are born with. It is the force that pushes you forward and allows you to find the right path amidst the confusion and chaos of life. Confidence brings calm into your life and better enables you to achieve your dreams and goals.
Don’t Let It Dim Your Future
We all have the power of self-confidence within us. Sadly though, many leave it unused for long periods of time, while others use it too sparingly. Forget about your past worries and build the power of self-confidence within you. Since you can’t change the mistakes of the past, don’t let them spoil the present or dim your future.
Liking Yourself
The first thing to practice is “liking yourself” before deciding to practice self-confidence. It is very difficult to become confident if you do not like yourself. Remember, just like everyone else, you were born into this world for a specific reason. Think about the things that you are good at doing. Work at becoming better at them. Don’t worry about the things that you are not very good at.
Challenging Yourself
Poor performance is often due to low self-confidence but it is not something you have to live with. You can build your self-confidence by challenging yourself to take action and do something. Even though you feel as if you lack confidence, it doesn’t mean other people can tell. Building confidence is a wonderful thing and it’s much easier than you would imagine.
Baby Steps
One of the easiest ways of building self-confidence is to “take baby steps.” What I mean by this is to set small goals or projects that you have to complete. Each time you do one in the time you have set for yourself, you will build your confidence. The accumulation of small “wins” will convince your subconscious mind that you can do what you set out to do. It will then convince your conscious mind that you have a lot of capabilities and your self-confidence will grow as a result. If you continue to do this over a period of months, you will find that your self-confidence grows.
With improved self-confidence you can take on bigger projects and goals and as these are completed your confidence will grow in leaps and bounds.
So, what other techniques are available to anyone wishing to develop more self-confidence?
Talking Positively To Yourself
It should be no surprise when I tell you that the single most influential person on your self-confidence is you, or more specifically, your mind. This probably sounds very basic but are you using your own thoughts to re-enforce your self-confidence and self-esteem?
Talk positively to yourself at all times. Become your own best friend and supporter. Encourage yourself to do more. Congratulate yourself on every small or large victory. Remember that very few people are successful the first time they try to do something. You didn’t ride a bike the first time you tried. Thomas Edison didn’t invent the light bulb on his first attempt either. It took him more than 10,000 attempts before he made the first successful light bulb and it only lasted a few minutes. The biggest thing to remember is that you are never defeated in doing anything you want to do until you quit.
Keep trying until you succeed. When you do, your self-confidence will soar and you will realise that you can do anything you want to as long as you continue trying.
People Watching
Another technique is to watch other people. When you see someone that stands upright and moves with a sense of purpose watch to see if they give you the impression that they have a lot of confidence. If they do, duplicate the physical characteristics of these confident people and you will start to gain the confidence they display.
Talking Down
One thing that you must make sure you stop doing is listening to people who talk down to you or try to tell you that you cannot do something. Usually these people can’t do these things themselves, so they try to convince others that they can’t do them either. If something like this keeps happening to you try to tune these people out. Your inner confidence needs to be liberated from this constant barrage of negative thoughts and statements from the dream stealers around you. Your limitations are in your mind, not in your reality.
Quick Tips
Here are some tips for everyday practice.
If you want to develop and build confidence, associate with positive uplifting people. Good people around you will help you build your confidence.
Do something new every day. Each of these small acts will add to your confidence and also make your life more enjoyable.
The most sacred thing in life is self-confidence because it is the secret of all miracles. When you have confidence in yourself, you arouse everything that is stronger, greater and superior in you. The more confidence you have in yourself, the more you will attain and accomplish. A person who knows the power of self-confidence walks a path of inner growth and achievement.
With self-confidence a person of mediocre ability can achieve more in life than those with exceptional talents and little self-confidence.
Supreme self-confidence is a birth right for every person so isn’t it about time you claimed yours?
Bio
Faye is a Mindset & Confidence Coach who works with a range of ambitious individuals and business owners world-wide. Using her Coaching, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy knowledge and NLP skills and experience Faye supports these individuals to gain the necessary confidence to help them achieve what they truly want in life.
