Is Too Much Self-Care Harmful For You?

Self-care. Today’s buzz-word for all things looking after ourselves.. All the things that make us feel great, chill us out and get us back to our best.

The dictionary definition of self-care is:

“the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health.”

But can self-care ever achieve the opposite of what it’s meant to do? Instead of making us feel better, preserving and improving our health, can self-care in fact harm us in some way?

Let’s take a look at a few things that we might label as self-care that may sound familiar:

• Watching three hours of Netflix after an exhausting day at work – that’s self-care, right?
• Tuning out of the bickering kids so you can stare at Instagram Stories for 20 minutes – that’s self-care, right?
• Drinking a whole bottle of wine to yourself because you dealt with your crazy mother-in-law for the weekend – that’s self-care, right?
• Skipping the gym to get another hour in bed – that’s self-care, right?

And the truth is, sometimes these are really things we need to do to take care and recharge our batteries. Well… maybe not the whole bottle of wine! But we do know that sometimes nothing will beat the power of being in your pyjamas eating your favourite food on the sofa. No-one is trying to make you feel guilty about these moments.

But if we’re not careful we can convince ourselves that our not-particularly-healthy, not-particularly-beneficial behaviour qualifies as ‘self-care.’

And unfortunately it doesn’t.

Some of these examples are things we might find ourselves doing a little too often. And when we’re doing them over and over, we probably aren’t getting to all the things we really do want to be doing, having or achieving in our lives.

Self-Sabotage?

It’s really important to identify habits and behaviours that don’t add to your life or run the risk of actually being detrimental long-term to your health and happiness if they occur all too frequently.

This sort of ‘self-care’ can indeed be harmful: it can leave us feeling guilty, unfulfilled and further away from achieving our goals than ever. Mentally these are sometimes the worst things we can be doing for ourselves and our health.

If you find that any of the self-care activities you treat yourself to on a regular basis actually make you feel worse afterwards or are getting in the way of achieving things or moving forward with your goals, you need to question if they are really self-care.

What Does Count As Self-Care For You?

The best way to stop these ‘self-care’ activities getting in your way? Make a list of things that really do count as self-care to you. And that can be different for everyone.

Whether that’s reading a book, doing a face-mask, making a tasty recipe from a book or calling a best friend for a catch up. Put on the list whatever makes you feel re-energised and helps you switch off and relax.

Having a list means that when you’re tempted to sit down for another Netflix binge for the fourth night in a row, you have a list of alternatives that might just replenish you in a more positive way.

And whilst it will feel weird and difficult at first to break those habits (hitting that snooze button without even realising, anyone?), when you’re doing these new things repeatedly, this sort of more positive self-care will soon become the new norm that will do more good for your health in the long-term, rather than causing you harm.

If you like this post, why not read 9 of the best self-care podcasts or 14 tips to boost your energy every day.

Bio

Vicky Shilling is a coach and award-winning blogger helping busy entrepreneurs find healthier ways to eat and live. Her blog The Flourishing Pantry offers recipes, inspiration and tips on living a healthy life whilst building a business through blog posts, videos, interviews and one-to-one coaching.