How To Deal With Nerves – Guest Post By Susan Richie
How To Deal With Nerves – Guest Post By Susan RichieA common subject with clients recently has been how to handle nerves that feel almost debilitating before an important event, such as a meeting or presentation. If you’re familiar with that feeling of panic that prompts sleepless nights and anxious moments, then here are a few things that I have used over the years to help me manage those nerves.
Please note that I said manage them, not eradicate the – as one of my mentors told me years ago, the day when you no longer have nerves before an important event is the day your ego has taken over and you should give up.
The key is to manage them so that they don’t become debilitating, and that you’re still able to show up as the best possible version of you.
Understand What The Best Possible Version Of You Is
Understand what the best possible version of you is – know your strengths, understand what you’re truly capable of and who you are at your best. This inner work builds a solid foundation upon which to base your development and will help you to stabilize yourself at your core. It will allow you to know how you want to show up and be seen by others, so you can plan the impact you want to make.
You can download 5 Steps To developing Your Leadership Presence to help you with this.
Replace Fear With Curiosity
Replace fear with curiosity – I wonder what difference I can make today? Learning to take a few risks is a good thing. My comfort zone is a good place to be, but I’ve never produced my best work or had the most exciting, life changing experiences from it. Neither have I been noticed much from it.
Calculated risks involve calculation – in other words, careful thought. And because of the risks I’ve taken in the past, I know there’s a whole bunch of ‘stuff’ I can handle in the future. Any nerves/wobbles get short shrift because of it. What is it that you’ll never know about yourself? You’ll never know what you don’t know, unless you give yourself a chance to find out.
Neutralizing Memories
If you’re drawn back to old, outdated memories that fuel your self-doubt and undermine your confidence, then work on neutralizing them so they no longer have a hold over you. A way I do this is to write out the memory in detail on a piece of paper and then burn it in the garden. It releases something in me that allows me to move forward and focus on more recent, up to date, helpful experiences that leave me feeling more resourceful.
I know the old memory still exists but it’s power disappears. If writing isn’t your thing, try describing the memory out loud and be conscious of the words disappearing into the ether, never to return. Finding a nice open space to do this in can be very exhilarating.
Other ideas might be to draw or paint the offending memory and then tear it up and throw it away. Find a way that suits you. I generally offer a few words of thanks for the experience and what it has taught me at the same time.
New Memories
Find and reinforce a new, more recent and helpful memory. This is powerful and great fun. Select a memory that shows you at your best, most resourceful state, either in the situation you experience nerves about, or a good powerful memory of a time when you felt strong and at your best. Reinforce this by writing in detail about it, recording the event in spoken word on your phone, creating a visual representation of it, recreating it in your mind’s eye in glorious Technicolor, sing about it…you choose.
Take some time to remember how you felt and include as much detail as you can. Keep this strong memory somewhere to hand – as a screen saver on your phone, or a page in your diary, or an audio file you can listen to whenever you wish.
Use Frequently
Use this strong, empowering memory frequently, especially before important events where you may be experiencing nerves. Make it your default, go-to setting and take some time to immerse yourself in its power.
There are lots of other ways to help manage nerves – these are ideas that will help you over time and make you less susceptible to last-minute panic, if you use them.
Let me know how you get on.
Bio
Susan Ritchie now specialises in helping executives to develop their leadership presence, creating the impact and engagement they need to further their own careers, as well as fuelling the continued growth and results of their organisations. She works with a range of private and public-sector clients including the BBC, the Institute of Chartered Accountants, the NHS and various charities and universities.
Her first book Strategies for Being Brilliant:21 Ways to be Happy, Confident & Successful, was published in 2013 and her second book, Strategies for Being Visible: 14 Profile-Raising Ideas for Emerging Female Leaders, is due for publication in January 2019.
She can be found at www.susanritchie.co.uk where you can download 5 Steps To Developing Your Leadership Presence – and why not come and say hello on twitter @susanjritchie.
