I’d be a rich woman if I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard a client say: If I were thin, I’d be happy (or successful or loved or in a better job or respected or content with myself or with my perfect partner). My life would be perfect if I were thin. Therefore, (and this is the subtext), if I could change my body, I could change my life.
This dear friend (yes, you), is the opposite of body confidence!
Firstly, this is a faulty belief, and secondly, if it were possible, I wouldn’t be in business, and there would be so many more “happy” women in the world.
Is It Possible?
Is body confidence possible? Absolutely! Is there a quick fix or magic pill or secret formula to attain body confidence? No – there isn’t.
“So how do I get from here to there,” my clients ask me.
“Where are you now,” I ask them.
And that’s where the work begins.
Body Rejection, Acceptance, Confidence
I look at this issue of body confidence on a continuum. On the far left is Body Rejection. In the middle is Body Acceptance. And on the far right is Body Confidence. Some would say that with body confidence, there is body love (and I would agree).
I believe that the hardest part of the journey is moving from body rejection to body acceptance. For many women, it’s the first time they’re asked to look at their bodies without the harsh eyes of negative judgment. It’s often the first time that they’ve looked at themselves naked.
To clarify, we see ourselves naked all the time. However, there’s a difference between being naked and looking at ourselves naked. At this moment, we’re vulnerable, exposed, and beautiful.
You can’t have body confidence if you hate your body. And you can’t have body confidence without body acceptance.
The idea that you can accept your body, right now, at this shape, size, and weight is so challenging for most women. Over and over, I hear this theme: if I accept my body, I’m resigning myself to this body for the rest of my life. I just can’t do that, they say (or scream or cry).
Change Our Relationship
To get to the place of body confidence, each of us must change our relationship with our bodies.
I can recall the first time I realized how miraculous my body is. All of the functions it performs for me – and the world. It was an eye-opener to really “see” that I was more than an ornament or an object.
Every woman’s journey is different and maybe never-ending. It’s challenging at best to have body confidence in a culture where billions of dollars are spent annually trying to convince us that we’re not enough just the way we are. But it is possible.
I had a client say to me the other day, “I am so proud of myself for taking such good care of me and my body. I get enough sleep, eat well, exercise regularly. I feel stronger. And I have so much more energy. I’ve given up the ghost of body perfect”.
And that, my friend, is body confidence.
Consider all of the ways your bodies serve you well. If this service to us is going to continue throughout our lives, how we need to take care of our bodies, to nourish them, nurture them, and express gratitude to them.
You’re worth the work, and your results will change your life for the better.
Bio
Post by Ilene Leshinsky. Ilene is the founder of Find Body Freedom, which is a program created to help women discover their innate body wisdom. Ilene’s background has been centered around helping women and children in social work– and she discovered a common thread with all her clients, including herself: poor body image. Her life’s mission is now helping women discover their innate wisdom within.
