The concept of self-care as a new mum can seem laughable and totally unrealistic. Who has time for that? We often feel too exhausted to even move or get dressed. Often women tell me or we read as a narrative that mums simply haven’t got time to have a bath with a candle or they can barely have a wee on their own in the day.
Why Is It So Important?
But please listen, it’s so important. Self-care is often seen as just a trendy phrase and it gets a bad rap. It’s misunderstood. To me self-care is really about self-worth and caring for ourselves as we would for our new baby. All that love and attention you lavish on your new baby we need to learn and know that we are worthy of the same and that to nourish our kids we need to also nourish ourselves.
I feel teaching our kids that we deserve to love ourselves is one of the greatest gifts we can give them but to teach this we need to show them that we care for and love ourselves through our actions. Our kids need to see us valuing ourselves, valuing our time alone as an adult not as a mum, valuing our health emotionally and physically.
Let’s Start Small
The key to self-care as a new mum is to start really really small. You don’t need to join a fancy gym or spend lots of money. It can mean doing something for a few minutes each day. Sitting outside with a cuppa and feeling the sun on our face, breathing deeply for five breaths or reading a page or two of a magazine or cooking a meal.
Tiny Shifts
Commit to one to two tiny changes per week and be consistent. Build these into your week and your life until they become automatic. Don’t set a goal to do ten new things each day, take it slowly, tiny shifts. Don’t give yourself too much extra to achieve and then feel guilty, aim really low and slow. Choose things you really love so you are more likely to do them.
Walking
For everyone I would say do a ten to thirty minute walk per day. We can all do that. It’s free. It gets you out the house plus you get a blast of Vitamin D. It’s low impact and gentle on a new postnatal body.
Movement
Other things might be to move your body as much as you can. Do what you love 1-2 times a week. Dance, do a free exercise class in your living room or join a local yoga class. What did you love to do before baby? Run? swim? Pick a slot your partner or a friend can have the baby and get back to doing this. Even if it’s just for 20 minutes a week.
No-No To Dieting
Please don’t diet. Eat healthily and well. Nourish your body as you nourish your baby. Eat as many different coloured vegetables as you can. Ask friends who visit to shop and cook for you. Order a stash of snacks you can grab whilst feeding or pinned under a sleeping baby – nuts, seeds, dried fruit, energy bars or balls.
Rest And Be Still
Rest. In whatever way or form that means for you. It might be a lunchtime nap, going to bed early, lying down in silence or a warm bath with oils. We can’t always sleep as mums so reframe ways to rest and physically be still.
To Laugh Or Cry
Laugh as much as you can, or cry. Who really nourishes you? See more of those friends and family. Say no to meeting those that you don’t really want to see.
Start With Just One Thing
Self care takes time, it evolves but grab it where you can. If it seems impossible at the moment just make a list today of ten things you really love. Try to do one over the next month.
For me, I started with going back to yoga, once a week and it was my space, my time to rest and breathe and just be me. If the baby was asleep I sat in the garden and breathed in the air, felt the sun, listened to the bees, with a big cup of coffee. I walked slowly listening to music or podcasts.
I slowly built on this. My kids are 12 and 9 now and they know certain parts of my week are non-negotiable. They are my time to nourish me and that by doing these I am more able to give to them having topped up my emotional and physical stores myself.
If you like this post, why not read 12 Ways To Re-Connect With You and tips on how to ditch mum guilt!
Bio:
Dr Rebecca Moore, Consultant Perinatal Psychiatrist, Co-Founder of Make Birth Better.
Doctorrebeccamoore.com. Makebirthbetter.org. On Instagram @drrebeccamoore.
Image from Pixabay.
Little awareness can keep a new mum healthy and active. Article is informative for new mum .
Thank you – it’s something that we can forget to do and not have the time to do as well.
Helpful article for new mums.
Thank you – I could have done with some of these tips when I was a new mum. It was all very overwhelming!
Great tips for new mums. Thanks for sharing and I appreciate it.
Miko recently posted…MASSAGE AWAY FOOT PAIN WITH AT-HOME REMEDIES
Great insights. These are quite perfect tips for new moms. Thanks for the article.
Mia Malto recently posted…Baby Development – 5 Month Old Baby Activities
The must-reads for new mommies. Many get worried about the weight gain during pregnancy and you have addressed that issue so well. Thank you for this article.