We’re Not Invisible! Here’s How We’re Embracing Being Over 40

Do you feel invisible after the age of 40 or that society treats you differently after a certain age?  Maybe viewing you as ‘over the hill’ or ‘past it’ even though you have age, wisdom and experience on your side.

Do you feel that the media misrepresents us preferring to show us images of airbrushed models or of younger women masquerading as midlife?

I don’t believe that just because we turn a specific number that we become less than.  My 50’s are looming and I feel more confident and more comfortable in my skin, than at any other age.

I haven’t always felt this way though. During early motherhood, I lost myself a little.  My confidence dipped and there was a definite shift in my identity.  One of the reasons I set up Woman Ready and trained as a coach was to help other women navigate this time of their lives.

But have I ever felt invisible? The answer is No.

We maybe can’t control how society treats us, but we can control how we feel about ourselves.

We put a Tweet out on Twitter to ask if women over the age of 40 felt invisible. We also asked them to share the positives of being older, the amazing things they’re doing and why we’re embracing it.

This is our campaign to raise awareness of how great it is to be over 40.  There are so many fabulous women out there, doing amazing things or simply just enjoying who they are, as they are.  If you’re looking to feel inspired, read on!

Sheena

“Being over 40 has transformed me; my confidence & belief in myself has soared. I started & finished my MA with an award-winning thesis. Did my first triathlon. Started writing a book. Was diagnosed with ADHD & fell in love with my brain & all its creativity for the 1st time!” Photo of Sheena below (by Shannon Willis).

Deborah

“I started modelling in my late 40’s after 17 years as a stay-at-home Mum. I’m 50 now and loving it. All natural and embracing my curves and wrinkles!”  Photo of Deborah below (photo by Amii Herd Photography).

Catherine

“I am certainly NOT invisible. With age, I have grown more confident. I have learnt my lessons and have humour to back me up. I know how to dress ’to impress’, and I stay away from a boring black dress unless I can give it an age.   I admit I had a ‘down’ time when I lost my husband of 20 years to suicide – but, eventually, I took back control.  I now help women aged 50+ who have come out of widowhood or divorce to go on the internet dating scene.”  Photo of Catherine below (photo by Faintline).

Fiona

“When I turned 40, I got out of an unhappy marriage and filed for divorce.  I started doing stand up comedy.  I find ageing empowering.  It’s great not having to put up with anyone’s shit anymore.”

Erin

“I run a community for women in business and there are so many of us over 40 building businesses which fit around family life – not just young kids too, women with university aged children who still want to have the flexibility built in so that they can still be ‘mum’ when needed.” Erin, The Mumpreneur Collective. Image below by Ribbons Media.

Jen

“I found myself feeling surprisingly calm and content about being 40. There is a sense of caring less about the little things I once thought so important (e.g., leaving the house sans mascara and perfect hair) that was freeing. I feel I’ve done some of my best personal work during those years. I wrote my first book at 47, subsequently made 30+ TV guest appearances as a parenting/social media expert. I would say now – I’ve officially entered my early 50’s – it honestly feels a bit more difficult to be “noticed”, but I don’t feel invisible. If anything I feel more sure of myself.”  Photo of Jen below (credit Seven Souls Studios).

Barbara

“I’ve always been soft-spoken and people often mistook that for shyness or having nothing to say. Being older I find the whisps of grey hair add an air of gravitas to my soft voice and people stop to listen, perhaps expecting wisdom. I try not to disappoint.”

Rachel

“I began a new career modelling aged 46 & have embraced my natural silver hair & curves. I am passionate about making sure women over 40 are represented in the fashion industry and in the media. I also started my own podcast ‘Out of the Bubble’ showcasing amazing midlife women.”  Photo of Rachel below.

Jurate

“I think what is fantastic with age, is that we have so much experience in different areas, know ourselves better, probably have kids and can explore the world from a completely new point of view.” Photo of Jurate below.

Sharon

“In my 40’s, I… wrote my first book, starting trekking all over the world, ran my first marathon & ultra-marathon, became a yoga teacher, starting living part of the year in Greece.  Just turned 50 & looking forward to this decade even more.”

Renee

“Left a six-figure job and started my own business. Moved across country. Best decision ever. Betting on me. My 40’s are wonderful.” Photo of Renee below (by Roshan Spottsville).

Nicola

“I am coming up to 44 and must admit, I did kick and scream my way into my forties, completely not ready to be ‘that old’. It felt like a decade of my life had been lost in the fog of motherhood and there I was, at forty, wondering how on earth that could have happened. I felt a definite shift around that time, though; that it was now my turn, to do something for me.  I published my first book, The Mystery of the Disappearing Underpants (an adventure story for 8-10 year-old’s) in 2017, and set up, Storymakers – a creative writing club for children, aimed at encouraging a love of writing, and stories.”  Photo of Nicola below.

Sam

“I’m enjoying better sex, more confidence, feel healthier, happier and definitely not invisible.”

Annie

“I am very passionate about the topic of healthy ageing, especially when it comes to women. It’s high time to break the stereotype of the invisible, irrelevant woman. I changed career in my 40’s, went back to school, and now focus on middle aged women’s health exclusively.”

Sophie

“I feel more confident in myself and bold in my choices than ever before. No doubt helped by the fact I’m now doing my dream job (Fashion & Beauty Editor) on the back of writing a best selling book. All new for me, all since I turned 45.”

Victoria

“I’m a lecturer, Wellbeing and Mindfulness Coach and I live in South Wales.  I’ve developed a toolkit of strategies to enhance resilience and health. I use positive psychology, meditation, exercise and optimal nutrition. I’ve been featured in The Independent’s Happy List, You magazine and now the Amazing Women 2019 awards!”  Photo of Victoria below.

Kathy

“My husband didn’t want to go to Europe. I did, so went alone to Paris (10 days in Apr). I enjoyed the ability to walk the streets until late at night feeling safe at all times. Usually people didn’t seem to notice me. I dined out & took it all in. 1 of the best experiences ever.”

Teresa

“Definitely don’t feel invisible since I hit 40. I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer at the age of 36.  The experience changed my perspective on getting older.  I realised it was a privilege and that you are never too old to grab your dreams.  My life changed dramatically since then. Since becoming 40, I’m as fit as I was in my 20’s, maybe fitter.  At 42 I am a brand ambassador for Theya Healthcare which is a post-surgical underwear company (yes that means underwear shoots!!!).  I changed career and was elected in May as a Local Councillor in my community.  There are so many positives of hitting 40.”

Donna

“I am 54 years young, married for 30 years, and have two amazing children. I honestly love every minute of my action-packed life.  I start my day, every day, with a 5 mile walk in the company of Freddie, my Cockapoo. My week also involves a ballet class and a tap class, where I prepare for IDTA exams and performances, which are joy to be part of.  I truly benefit from friendships, fitness and great fun, all in one place.” Picture of Donna below.

Nellie

“I don’t feel invisible but I understand how many can feel that. I make myself visible…..triathlon coaching, lifeboat crew, being active on social media.”

Kate

“My 30’s were hectic and life-changing: getting married, having two children, starting a shoe business.  But when I turned 40, just over 2 years ago, I decided to give up the rat race and quit my banking job last year to take the plunge and go full time into my wide fit shoe start-up business Sargasso & Grey.   I also ran a half marathon just over a month ago, which is the first time I have ever run so far!  I feel fitter, stronger, happier and more in control than I ever have. I also feel much more confident in my own skin!”

Roxana

“Midlife is starting to be the best time of my life. I won’t deny that I had to do some mental and emotional changes to reach the point where I can understand it from a different, more positive perspective. The authenticity I am able to experience now is quite liberating, to say the least. My work and my place in this world have reached a new level and I just hope that every woman can go look inside themselves to find the true blessing that growing older can be.”

Kim

“I became a first time mum at 43 and it was a pivotal point in my life, following the subsequent breakdown of my marriage. I have always wanted to run my own business again having ran my first at 18 and decided to take the plunge.  In the last year I have set up a successful business, passed my level 7 diploma in Exec Coaching and learnt so much, meeting some amazing people along the way.  I believe my age and experience helped me this time around due to having a strong network and reputation which as a coach is key.” Photo of Kim below (by Vivienne Kane photography).

Rosemary

“I’m British, a retired lawyer, having been a partner in a city of London firm.  I’ve lived and worked in 13 different countries.  I’ve recently moved to Portugal and love it here.  We’ve bought a little house near Lisbon. I was volunteering in a food bank but I’ve been ill recently so have had to stop that for the time being.  So I stick to walking along the low tide line and picking up plastic washed up and putting it into the recycling.

I started a blog, longlifefunlife.com earlier this year about what we can do now to help us live a longer life having more fun.  And that’s a lot of fun!”

Heather

“Turning 44 in a few weeks. This is the least invisible I have ever felt. The confidence that clicked into place at 40 shines through and attracts. Flaming red hair and an infectious laugh helps too.”

Henrietta

“I’m 40 and just getting started. I don’t feel invisible at all.  I’m enjoying being older and there are so many new and exciting things that I’m doing with my career as well. It’s fantastic being over 40.”

Mrs C

“I don’t do “amazing “ things. However, I am not and never have felt invisible. I live my life. I am grateful for this.”

Rachel

“I’ve run 5k’s, 10k’s & a half marathon in my 40’s. Training for my first full marathon at the age of 45. I’m fitter now than I’ve ever been in my life. Dyed my hair blonde with pink in it. I don’t feel invisible.”

Siobhan

“I turned 60 and now I am travelling around Great Britain in a motorhome and trying to  challenge stereotypes of retired pensioners!”

Joy

“Found the courage to leave a bad marriage at 50, rediscovered myself. Was soon told I looked 5 yrs younger. Met & married a wonderful man, started a new business, trained as a Make Up Artist for the older woman so now at 63 I feel anything but invisible & help others not to.”

A quick thank-you to everyone who responded to our Tweet.  We got an overwhelming response and unfortunately weren’t able to share everyone’s comments.  We found the article very inspiring and hope you did too.

About Woman Ready

Woman Ready is an online platform helping women to recognise their potential, embrace who they are (as they are), to believe in themselves more and to feel happier.  We provide tools, advice, inspiration and honesty, for all areas of your busy life.  And we do this through our online community, curated content, coaching and courses.

Feeling Lost Or Stuck?

If you’re feeling lost or stuck and want to reconnect with yourself, push yourself forward and thrive more – but just don’t know how to – then Lou (founder of Woman Ready) can help you. Have you thought about life coaching?  Or why not check out our course, 30 Days To A Happier You?