I am not a medical professional, but what I am is a mum who has experienced, first-hand, what life with OCD is really like, having watched it consume my teenage daughter.
I have also witnessed the chaos and misery that ensued, not just for her, but for the family as a whole, after OCD took its cruel hold.
So How Would I Describe Living With OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?
It’s difficult to put into words, as you have to live it to fully appreciate and understand it, but here’s a brief glimpse into what life can feel like, with OCD.
Imagine watching your once bubbly, confident and popular daughter becoming isolated and miserable, due to irrational fears driving her to do certain rituals, over and over again.
Then imagine a whole family, unknowingly, being recruited and controlled to also carry out these bizarre actions, and having to constantly offer reassurance, simply to calm down an OCD meltdown.
Finally, imagine your once calm household developing into a “who can shout the loudest” competition, which by the way, will always be the OCD voice.
This is a welcome to what is just a brief insight into living a life around OCD.
When it comes to providing a more detailed insight into OCD, a good place to start would be by providing a brief description of what OCD actually is and why it impacts so greatly on everyday life.
OCD
Put simply, OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) is when a person has unwelcomed, intrusive thoughts, over and over again, also referred to as obsessions. Most of us will experience unpleasant thoughts at some point or another. However, OCD sufferers’ bad thoughts differ to other people’s thoughts in that: whereas other people eventually release the thought and continue with a normal life, for a person with OCD, the bad thoughts become “stuck” and don’t release, meaning that they keep going around and around in the person’s mind, almost like being trapped on a wheel.
Compulsive Actions
This then leads to an urge to carry out certain compulsive actions, over and over, to try to reduce the anxiety created by the obsession. It’s the combination of not being able to release and control these repeated obsessions and compulsive actions that become the disorder part.
Despite the urge to carry out these actions over and over, they are not enjoyable, far from it. They are exhausting and will often result in a person (and others close to them) avoiding certain places or actions altogether, in order to escape having to carry out the ensuing rituals.
So, What’s Life With OCD Like?
Here are a few common challenges of living around OCD.
Everyday Life
OCD can disrupt everyday life massively, often resulting in missing school or work, seeing family and friends or even having a normal social life such as eating out or enjoying a holiday.
I’ve lost count how many times I’ve had to abandon a shopping trolley mid-way through a shop, or had to leave a restaurant, when OCD has decided to “play its game”.
OCD Recruits
OCD will try to get others onboard with its demands too. It knows that loved ones will do whatever necessary to keep their child calm. You’ll be amazed what lengths you will go to, just to calm down any OCD thoughts, especially given that the condition is triggered by anxiety in the first place.
Relationships
Relationships can be pushed to the brink, especially if you have differing opinions or approaches on how to tackle the OCD. Because trying to fully understand why an individual feels compelled to perform seemingly bizarre and repetitive behaviours due to OCD, can be very difficult for others to understand. It is not real, but it can nevertheless feel very real and therefore very difficult to treat.
Domination
OCD can dominate all conversation and free time. It can be very easy for OCD to become the focus of every conversation and every bit of free time. This can unintentionally lead to other family members, especially younger ones, feeling left out and becoming resentful.
Secret
It’s a big secret. Like many other mental health issues, OCD can be a very private and secret battle, as sufferer’s fear being regarded as a “freak”, especially when their thoughts aren’t real. Also, the stigma around OCD can sometimes make it difficult to talk about. Often victims of OCD know that their thoughts and actions aren’t rational, but they feel compelled to carry out the rituals anyway, “just in case”; fearing that something bad will happen otherwise.
It’s Lonely And Isolating
Often people living with OCD can worry so much about hiding their illness from others, and having to carry out exhausting rituals, that they avoid going out altogether; preferring to stay in their own home instead. Sadly, this decision doesn’t just impact on them but on the family as a whole; as no one can go out or have people around, in order to avoid having to carry out bizarre rituals.
Finally, if I was to sum up living with OCD in just three words, I think it would have to be: Miserable, Lonely and Frustrating.
About the Author
Julie Derrick is a busy wife and a mum from Wales, who juggles her time between doing what she loves most, running her family home alongside her other passion for writing and helping others.
Julie strives to raise awareness for childhood OCD following on from her own personal experiences and has released her first visual children’s book titled ‘Hank The Hungry Monster‘ to help create understanding of the mental health illness for both children and adults.
