Guest Post by Kim Palmer, Founder of Clementine the app
We’ve all done it: arrive home from work feeling annoyed, moan about your day, sour the mood in the house and then go to bed. But it’s not good for you (or your partner). So here are some helpful tips for leaving work at work…
For years, I’d bring my work home with me. I don’t mean physically, I mean mentally. I’d come home from my office job and download the whole day onto my poor husband. And I wouldn’t just leave it there: I’d bang on about it all evening. It would still be with me while we were watching TV, or if we went out to dinner.
I’d fret about what had happened that day at work before going to sleep. Then wake up in the middle of the night thinking about it. And this would repeat, day after day. The worst thing about it? It wasn’t just a weekday thing, I’d do this over the weekend too. Soon, I wasn’t enjoying my time at home at all, as it was fraught with worry.
Years ago, I spoke to one of my colleagues about this and she gave me a great piece of advice that I use to this day. She said that on my way home (which, at the time, was a 30-minute drive) I should think through the things that were bothering me about the day. List them out mentally during the drive and ask myself these questions:
- What happened?
- Why was I bothered about it?
- What would I do differently, if it happens again?
After working through these questions, her advice was to then park it. Put it in a box and move on. So that by the time I got home and opened up the front door, I would have removed these niggles from my mind and could enjoy my evening with my family. It was a game-changing piece of advice.
Over the years, I’ve continued to work on ways to leave work at work, so that I can spend my time at home relaxing and enjoying being with my family. And I’ve come up with some helpful tips that might enable you to switch from work-mode to home-mode, and avoid ruining date night with complaints about your boss!
How To Leave Work At Work
- Ask yourself the three questions I wrote earlier, but write your answers in a journal/phone if you’re commuting. The process of writing it down will really help you get it off your chest. Then you can look back at it at a later time and use your own advice again.
- Listen to a ‘de-stress’ Clementine session. We have three. For a particularly bad day, and when you have more time, use the 15-minute ‘tough day at work’ session. Or if you’re strapped for time, there are two short versions: one for people working outside of the home (‘reset’), another for people working at home and looking after the kids (‘take a breather’).
- It’s good to have a rant; to vent – but you need to time-box it. I’ve started doing this with my partner now, and he does it with me. We have five minutes to go for it… Then that’s it, don’t mention it again!
- If you’ve had a really bad day at work – rather than leaving late; leave early, as you’ll be completely knackered and will need a bit of time to practice self-care. Do something nice for yourself on the way home: buy your favourite magazine. Or a chocolate bar. Or, when you get home, have a hot bubbly bath and relax. But leave early.
- Lighten the mood. You need something to distract yourself and lift your spirits. Watch a comedy, call someone who always makes you laugh, jump onto YouTube and watch ridiculous clips – whatever, just have a little giggle.
- If it’s still on your mind by bedtime, how about trying out a nice, relaxing night-time routine? We compiled the before-bed routines of five very successful women (including Sheryl Sandberg, Jasmine Hemsley and Karen Blackett) – so you’ll find some great tips in there.
Do you find yourself bringing issues from work home? How do you switch off? Let us know.
Bio
Kim Palmer is Founder of Clementine the app. Clementine is made by women for women who need are feeling stressed, frazzled and overwhelmed. Using hypnotherapy sessions, it will help you to sleep better, worry less and feel more confident. Recently voted by The Guardian as ‘one of the seven apps every women should own’.
You can find out more about Clementine at www.clementineapp.co.uk. Also by searching via the App Store.
