Joy is a simple, little word, right? The dictionary definition is: a feeling of great pleasure and happiness. That’s very clear…..so why can it be so difficult to find and then hold on to?
What does joy mean to you? To me, joy is a feeling of calm (even if it’s for a brief moment), the sense of calm I get when I see beauty in the world around me (a lovely sunrise, the colourful autumn leaves), when I make a friend or child laugh, when I’m snuggling with my partner on the sofa.
We are so busy on a daily basis that we don’t take the time, or give ourselves permission to take the time, to experience what is going on in the moment, so moments of joy just pass us by.
But if we were really aware of what was going on around us, we’d be surprised at how much joy there actually is in our life.
We often see joy on the faces of children, especially at this time of year, but as we grow up we lose the ability to experience the little things in life which bring us so much joy.
Pressures and demands of everyday life take over and the constant need for planning and moving to the next thing on our to do list is ever present.
So how can you get more of your joy back in your life?
There are lots of different things you can do, but I would suggest taking a look at the various ways below and picking one or two to start with and embed before doing anymore. And remember, it’s the small steps that will have the biggest and lasting impact.
“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We, ourselves, must walk the path”. Buddha
What Do You Enjoy Doing
Be clear on what you enjoy doing. Many of us do things we ‘should’ enjoy doing, because society, our peer group, or social media tell us that we ‘should’ enjoy doing them. However take some time to think about what you DO actually enjoy. Then swap some of the things you don’t enjoy for things you do.
Let Go Of Anger
Letting go of anger makes so much more room for joy; but how easy is this to do? One way to let go of anger is to spend some time thinking about how it would feel not to hold on to this anger anymore. Ask yourself, if I wasn’t angry at x or about y, then how would I feel? What would I be doing?
The Joy Of New Things
Being angry or listening to self-negative talk can keep us in our comfort zone. Plus it prevents us from experiencing joy from new things (as well as long forgotten things we used to enjoy).
You don’t have to go massively out of your comfort zone to find joy. If asking for what you want is not comfortable for you, why not try saying no to doing something you don’t enjoy.
You Are Not Your Mind
Your self-negative talk can keep you a prisoner. The stories you tell yourself about how you’re not good enough, or that you’ll never be able to achieve your dream, are just stories in your head.
I’ll never forget the moment one of my mindfulness clients ‘got’ this completely. The joy and sense of freedom on her face when she realised “I am not my mind” (direct quote from her) was amazing.
She has been able to keep this sense of joy she gained in making little changes to her habits since the course she was on some months ago. She told me earlier this week how she got back some joy from listening to a song which she used to love, but then it became associated with a bad breakup.
This week when she heard it, she decided to take back the song for herself as it was one she really enjoyed listening to. And she banned any stories her mind was trying to tell her about the song. She just listened to it for what it was; one of her favourite songs.
This hasn’t come easy for her and to achieve this she has had to work hard at developing and maintaining her mindfulness practice to experience more joy in her life.
Re-framing
Re-framing negative thoughts can also bring more joy into your life as similar thoughts breed similar thoughts. Try giving yourself an affirmation to say everyday while you’re on your drive to work, or walking the dog, or having your morning cuppa.
You’ll find more positive and joyful thoughts will come to you. However, if you keep listening to self-limiting and negative thoughts, more of those thoughts will come to you.
“If you can’t find peace within yourself, you will never find it anywhere else” Marvyn Gaye
Science has proven that you can rewire your brain through mindfulness and meditation to bring more joy into your life. Are you ready to make that move for yourself and take responsibility for bringing more joy to your life?
Getting More Joy In Your Life
If this article has resonated with you, I challenge you to give yourself permission to pause for just 10 minutes. Write down 10 things that used to bring you joy that you no longer have the time to do. Or things that still bring you joy now, but you don’t have the time to do either.
When you have done that, spend a further 5 minutes working out when you can put one of those activities in your week this week. And when you are in that moment, really be in that moment and experience the joy you deserve.
Bio
For more tips, tools and information follow Alexandra Care on Twitter (AlexCareMIC) or on Instagram (mindcareinspiration).
Having experienced the benefits of coaching and mindfulness first hand, giving her light-bulb moments, great insights and dramatic positive changes to her life, Alex wanted to give others the opportunity to experience the same.
Now, as a qualified Coach and Mindfulness Trainer, she is having excellent results with clients. She works with people who suffer with anxiety, have low confidence, are stressed, unfocused or feel overwhelmed at work and in their personal life.
