Are you having issues at work with a colleague? Here’s our advice on how to deal with it confidence rather than conflict.
You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family. And you have a relatively low degree of control over your colleagues and still less over your customers.
In principle you can always move to another job, but in practice the grass is not necessarily greener on the other side. The reality is that wherever large groups of people find themselves in a situation in which they have to “rub along” together, whether they like it or not, some of that rubbing is going to lead to friction.
Fortunately, taking the right approach can smooth out that friction before it leads to conflict. Midlands Dove share their expert tips on how to keep your cool at work.
Pick Your Battles
If there is one tip above all others which will save your blood pressure, then this is it.
Before you start thinking about how to go about addressing an issue, ask yourself whether or not the issue really is worth the effort of addressing. If something is just a minor irritation the most pragmatic response may be just to let it go, especially since the person with the habit you find irritating might turn around and point out how some of your habits irritate them.
On the other hand, if something actually has a negative impact on you, then it really does need to be addressed.
Choose The Right Channel
These days there are basically two ways you can communicate with people. One is by speaking to them and the other is by writing to them.
Generally, in the first instance, speech should be the preferred option, preferably on neutral territory and on a one-to-one basis. Before you start the conversation, have an outcome in mind and be ready to work towards that. Or change tack if you realise that you are on the wrong course.
Writing is generally best kept for when speaking is impractical. Or for when the matter is serious enough for you to want to put it on a more formal footing.
If, however, you do opt for the written approach, then clarity needs to be paramount. Basically, you need to focus on explaining what you want the other person to do and why. This is better than going on about what you don’t want to see them doing again.
Remember That The Price Of Criticism Is To Offer An Alternative
Not to put too fine a point on the matter, it’s often a whole lot easier to tell someone that they’re doing something wrong than to offer them any meaningful support to get it right. If you’re going to address an issue at work, then it is (usually) your responsibility to offer an alternative which should be acceptable to you both.
That means taking the time to understand why another person acts the way they do. This could be quite an eye-opening experience for you, especially if you consider the possibility that something which appears to be completely obvious to one person in one situation may not be at all obvious to someone else looking at the same situation from another perspective.
Bio
Elizabeth Bilton is an accredited mediator and qualified solicitor for Midlands Dove. She specialises in family law and workplace disputes. Elizabeth is one of only a few Mediators in the UK with an appropriate FMC accreditation to sign off on MIAMs required by the Family Court prior to an application being issued.
Photo by CoWomen on Unsplash.
