How I’ve Become The Wrong Sort Of Introvert

When publisher and author, Jane Badger, returned home to the UK from Australia at the end of March and entered quarantine, she returned home to a life both drastically and little changed.

While she thought as an introvert and homeworker she wouldn’t be as affected as some, she soon realised that with the whole world becoming temporary ‘introverts’, her world had, in fact, changed dramatically…

When we started self-isolation for Covid-19 here in the UK at the end of March, after returning from our holiday in Australia, I thought that for me it would be life as normal. I work from home as a publisher and editor and I have done for years. Being on my own is absolutely normal for me.

The Classic Introvert

Those articles on the classic introvert have me down pat. I like, and need, human contact, but not too much and not too often, and long spaces of time just doing my own thing are fine for me. Party invitations have me shying away like a frightened horse, and I get fretful if I’m required to do too much unstructured chat.

And yet….even for me, the long hours with nothing are a challenge. I’m as much a consumer of social media as everybody else.  I’ve found myself watching everyone else doing the introverted thing and doing it differently to me. It feels, in an odd sort of way, as though the space I’ve been quite happy in has been taken over by people who, well, just do it better.

People who read things, sing, schedule Zoom meetings and get togethers.…

Differently Not Wrong

It reminds me of the theme song to Radio 4’s You’re Doing it Wrong.  And I find myself saying, Jane, you’re doing introversion, REALLY WRONG.

To which the answer is, when I calm the panic that the space I’ve looked on as my own is changing, that I’m just doing it differently. Not wrong. There’s enough pressure in this strange new world of ours without me adding to it by beating myself up for being the wrong sort of introvert.

There are no wrong or right ways to do something that is completely new to all of us, and where the ground shifts under our feet almost constantly. All we can do is recognise what we and our businesses bring to people, and do what we can to give something back to the communities we’re part of, whether they’re physical or online.

In a world like this, none of us is going to get it right all the time.

I need to remind myself that it’s OK to need time to contemplate what is happening.  And that if I need to do things in a different way that might be a bit of challenge, that might actually be possible.

For example, I find social media a challenge.  I cope with the relentless pressure to post content by scheduling and limiting the time I spend responding. But, in a time when life is changing almost by the hour, being organised and scheduling ahead of time can risk you sounding tone-deaf if you have a breezy little post all set to post itself on a day when a bit of really bad news is announced.

So one thing I’ve done is schedule a few posts around upcoming days that have an obvious fit with my business, like International Book Day.  This gives me that bit of distance I need from social media, while allowing myself the energy to post other things that are a bit more responsive and reactive to what’s going on in the world.

A Different Kind Of Introvert

And I do feel grateful that although I’m beginning to feel the oddity of not being able to go outside my front door, I’m not pacing the floor like a caged lion.  Although perhaps some leonine pacing might be a good idea because I’ve certainly not embraced the instruction to exercise once a day, other than to potter slowly around the garden.

I’m hopeful that I’ll be able to use the long hours to work out other things I can do and to learn from other people who are doing things differently. I’m not going to emerge at the end of all this an extrovert, but perhaps I might be a different type of introvert.

Stay home, stay safe and stay you. Introvert, extrovert or something in the middle, you’re doing just fine.

Bio

Jane Badger is a freelance writer, editor and proofreader. Formerly a book dealer specialising in antiquarian horse and pony books.  In 2013 she wrote Heroines on Horseback, a gallop through the pony book in children’s fiction.

Jane has also created and written the world’s largest website on equine literature. There are more than 1,100 authors featured on the website and several thousand book titles. Find out more at www.janebadgerbooks.com.